We went to see the Tegan and Sara at Bogart's last night here in Cinci and it was absolutely fantastic. I have never had so much fun at a concert before, and that is really saying a lot. I took a lot of pictures and have lots more to say than I can possibly write at this moment in time. Expect a long post tomorrow!
It's a good morning when the boy keeps the kitties from making too much noise so that I can sleep.
Top it with whipped cream. I've been censoring myself here on this blog lately, and I realized this evening that I need to write what I want to write and not hold back. Then I can edit before I hit the post button. Moving on.
I was having a panic attack tonight, all over not having floss. I'm really obsessive about flossing on a daily basis and not getting to last night was really starting to drive me crazy. I was going to go buy floss, but I didn't want to go all by myself, ya know, just because I didn't want to overspend on things I really didn't need. I have a tendency to buy things at the grocery store not because I'm hungry, but because I think I am going to want them later, or I want them in this very moment.
This is not a good habit, and it's something Allen is very aware of. So he knew that I wanted company, for a floss and broccoli and cream cheese run. It's raining, and he doesn't like to go out in the rain. So I took a bath first, and really really wanted floss. And broccoli to go with my lunch tomorrow. And cream cheese to have with my celery for a snack at some point in time. Because when I'm panicking, I want to eat, and I am really good at not just eating because I am stressed out.
He went with me, and harassed me and teased me, but he went with me, even when he didn't want to, which made me feel appreciated and loved. I don't think he realized at the time that I was having a panic attack, but he went with me and listened to me babble about wanting cream cheese, cinnamon rolls, cookies, bacon, tomatoes, beer, and so on and so forth.
It wasn't until we got home and I was offering to fix ice cream that I started apologizing profusely for my behavior. My panicking was getting the best of me and I just needed to sit down, shut up, and calm down, oh, and have a snack, because apparently I hadn't eaten enough today. I blabbered at him that I was sorry, I'm having a panic attack and I just want a fucking hug, is that okay?
And yeah, it is okay. He loves me regardless of how crazy I am.
I think my point here is, enjoy your partnership and what you do in the bed, shower, or in the woods? That much better.
I will admit that Allen and I have a happy and healthy sex life. Our relationship isn't based around sex, though, and never has been. I am not someone who is sex obsessed at all, and I'm happy going without for a while.
What's that? You say, you don't have sex multiple times a week? No, I don't. Some weeks are different than others, and every time we choose to have sex, it's a really good experience because there isn't any pressure. There are mornings we spend in bed cuddling and watching TV. Nights we spend tickling each other and watching Family Guy.
Things weren't always this simple, at least, not in my head. My relationship before Allen was one in which I constantly felt pressured to have sex, multiple times a week, multiple times a month. It was all that relationship seemed to hinder on, and I resented every minute of it. Of course, when Allen and I started dating, I was really afraid of having sex with him, because I was afraid that it would turn into sex fest 2006. I was really uptight about waiting, and he was patient and waited until I was ready, and then he didn't push me at all, ever.
Of course, we did go through that stage where we felt like we had to have sex every time we saw each other. Which was every weekend. It didn't affect our relationship, since most of the time we weren't seeing each other and were talking on the phone and on AIM nightly. At that time we saw each other once a week, and those weeks felt really long when we weren't together.
Now, we've reached a point where we don't have to screw each other every time we see each other. Which is good - we live together! We talk a lot, watch TV and go to the mall. We both giggle at house and watch shows on National Geographic. He plays video games and I go to the gym. Sex doesn't make up our relationship, but is part of it, adds to it, enhances it.
That's the way that I want to keep it.
